


Three Lives

by rinthegreat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Evil Marco, M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 03:43:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1372693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinthegreat/pseuds/rinthegreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi was happy to be saved from a meaningless life by Erwin, Eren falls in love with humanities strongest soldier, and Jean picks up the pieces of a broken life. ErwinxLevi, LevixEren, JeanxEren. Pre-canon, canon, & post-canon universes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Lives

**Author's Note:**

> Levi - pre-"canon"verse  
> Eren - "canon"verse  
> Jean - post-"canon"verse  
> By canon I mean mostly canonverse. With broad assumptions and conspiracy theories.

**Levi**

Erwin saved Levi from living a life that was doomed to end in misery.  Levi hadn’t realized how bleak his days were beneath the walls until he was sailing through the trees, watching the world pass in a blur of green.  It became his favorite color then, making him think of freedom and the world outside. 

His old comrades faded apart, only to be brought together when Farlan’s body was brought back from a mission outside the walls.  Levi didn’t blame Isabel for defecting to the Stationary Guard after that, and it wasn’t long much later he heard of the accident that ended her life.

The only thing that held him together when he watched his old life fall apart before his eyes was Erwin.  He was as unwavering in his trust of Levi as he had been the first day he’d joined the Scouting Legion.  And Levi was grateful to him.  He was thankful for the man who had pulled him from certain doom and given him a reason to live, even when he thought he had none.

The first time was Levi’s way of thanking him.

He wasn’t even sure what Erwin’s preferences were, but the man who had saved him from slowly fading into nothingness didn’t bat an eye when Levi appeared, naked, in his room.  It had hurt like hell, and Levi swore to himself that he would never do it again.  But after the next mission, when so many had died, he found himself once more in Erwin’s bed.

It became a sort of ritual between them.  After a while, Levi stopped pretending to return to his own quarters, and they didn’t even use the excuse of missions to stay together.  He knew everyone knew, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  There was nothing against it in the rules, and the people who found out would be dead the next time they ventured outside the walls anyway.  It was a depressing yet true fact.

A new transfer from the Military Police, Hanji Zoë, was overly interested in their affair.  She hung around Levi asking him constant questions about his relationship with their commander and was disappointed when he insisted there was none.  She soon proved herself to be too strong to die easily, and somewhere along the line they became friends, and Levi knew there was no getting rid of her.

He hadn’t been lying when he told Hanji there was no relationship between him and the Commander.  Levi felt nothing for Erwin aside from a deep sense of gratitude and friendship.  They never talked about their feelings, but Levi knew Erwin felt the same.  They didn’t need to sugar coat it or slap a useless name on what they did.  It was mutual comfort, nothing more.

He did feel guilty, though, whenever he caught Mike staring at him from the corner of his eye.  He knew the man could easily smell Erwin’s scent on him, and he always saw the other take a subtle sniff as he walked by.  Levi pretended he didn’t notice the forlorn look on Mike’s face, and Mike pretended that he never let his expression slip for that half second it took for him to process the smell.  He never mentioned it to Erwin, and the commander never asked.

The affair continued for years, more out of convenience and habit than anything else.  Then something changed.  A pair of large, too green eyes that reminded Levi of that first run of freedom infected his thoughts and consumed his mind.  An expression of insanity too deep for one so young haunted his dreams, and a passionate voice declared he would kill all the titans. 

It was childishly naïve for the kid to think he could do something like that, let alone singlehandedly.  But the passion moved Levi in a way he’d never thought possible, and before he knew it, he had retired to his own quarters for the first time in nearly fifteen years.  He hardly even noticed as the affair with Erwin disappeared into nothingness.

 

**Eren**

All his life, Eren had no passion for anything except killing titans and helping mankind escape the walls.  He would sit and listen to Armin tell him stories of oceans, mountains, deserts, and other strange things he only half believed existed.  He didn’t have the same love for the illegal books that Armin did, but he also never understood why they were forbidden.  It gave him another reason to want to escape the walls.

Passion changed to obsession the moment the wall was torn down and he had to watch his own mother broken by one of the beasts.  The image consumed him for five years he barely remembered and motivated him through his training.  Discovering a part of him was just like the creatures he’d grown to hate was a blessing and a curse; it was easier to fight them when he wasn’t constantly worried about his gear running out of gas, but it also made him question everything about himself.

And then the light that was his hero shined down upon him in the dark confines of the dungeon he’d been locked in, returning hope to him.  He saw the barely veiled satisfaction on Levi’s face just before he shut Eren up with a swift kick to his face in the courtroom.  It scared him at first, even though the man assured him it was all part of a larger plan.  But despite that, he was happy.  In the end, he was finally going to realize his dreams and escape the prison that was the walls.

He wasn’t sure when he realized his admiration and respect for Humanity’s Strongest Soldier was something more, but he didn’t hesitate the night Levi dismissed Eren’s guards and walked into his cell without warning.

For being so harsh about everything else, Levi was strangely tender in bed.  The thought occurred to Eren that the Corporal had probably been in his position before, and that was why he was so gentle, but he quickly pushed the depressing thought to the back of his mind.  He’d been a virgin before the night began, but when morning peeked over the horizon and Eren turned over to find his bed empty, he didn’t feel any different.  Somehow he thought he would.

Life continued on as normal, with no more visits from the Corporal to his cell, and the Scouting Legion prepared for their mission outside the wall.  Eren couldn’t say he was surprised as he spent night after night alone; he figured Levi had needed something that one time and was disappointed in what he got.

But the night after they returned from the failed mission with no Female Titan, no new information, and all of Levi’s former squad in body bags, the Corporal returned to Eren’s cell.  Eren had been injured at the time, but it didn’t matter.  One look at the vacant expression in Levi’s eyes was enough, and Eren easily accepted the older man into his bed.  It was rougher than their first time, and Eren spent the second half of the night shaking and holding Levi, letting out his own emotions while the stronger man refused to cry.

He woke up the next morning alone again with his face still puffy.  The only sign that Levi had been there was a clean handkerchief that was neatly folded and could only mean _thank you_ and _clean yourself up, brat_.  Eren did so, glad that his captain seemed to be back to normal.

To his surprise, Levi returned that night.  And then again the night after.  And the night after that.  Soon, Eren was falling asleep with his arms wrapped around the smaller man, his face burrowed in the warmth of Levi’s neck.  He always woke alone, with nothing but a folded handkerchief and soiled sheets to prove he hadn’t dreamed it all up.

Once he asked Levi why he never stayed.  He hadn’t meant to ask it; the question just blurted itself out over dinner.  He expected the older man to smack him over the head and tell him to stop asking stupid questions, but Levi never did.  The Corporal just shot him a cold glare and told him it was because the dungeon was too cold to stay the whole night.  After that, Eren didn’t sleep in his cell anymore.

Waking up curled around Levi was infinitely better than waking up alone, and soon Eren grew accustomed to the way the sun’s rays would hit the older man’s face at dawn.  Eren found himself waking up just as morning broke over the horizon, and he would stare at Levi until the other stirred.  Then he would close his eyes and pretend he was asleep.  He never told Levi about those special moments, because he knew the other would just tell him he was too sentimental and call him a brat.  He wasn’t even sure this affair meant the same to the older man that it did to him.

They never told each other _I love you_ or anything similar.  Eren had put the name to his own feelings weeks after moving to Levi’s room, but he never pretended to think the other felt the same.  He knew Levi was honest enough to tell him the truth if he ever asked, but he didn’t want to face reality, and so never asked him.  And for almost a year it was enough.

Then the titans broke past the wall in a move no one thought possible.  Eren had watched in horror as hundreds of titans ravaged everything mankind had worked so hard to create.  His own titan blood sang to join them, to empty his mind of everything and to follow the others.  The Scouting Legion was at the front of the fight as they always were; battling against Marco and his horde.  He saw Reiner snap, the warrior side taking full control of his mind as the blond defied the promise he’d made to Eren weeks earlier, and the Armored Titan charged the allied soldiers before it was taken out forever by the Colossal Titan.

Eren was losing control of the Rogue Titan, his mind already slipping into the quiet blankness that consumed him whenever he was in the form too long.  And the Ape Titan hadn’t even broken through the last wall yet.  He leapt out of the body just as his vision went white, using his 3D gear to join the others in the fight that sped past in a blur.  He wasn’t sure what would happen after this, but for better or for worse, he wouldn’t be able to go into his titan form again.  Eren wasn’t sure how he knew this; he just did.

It happened at the end of the battle.  Defying all odds, humanity was winning; the only real enemy left was the Ape Titan.  Eren was out of gas, having given all he had left to Levi, knowing he had a better chance of winning than he did.  He had long ago given up the pipe dream that was single handedly taking down all the titans.

But as the man he acknowledged as the love of his life flew at the creature, he regretted trusting him so fully.  If he had been the one running blindly in, it wouldn’t have mattered.  All the titans should be killed in the end anyway; it saved mankind one last step.

Levi fell in a waterfall of blood and flesh.  Eren barely made it in time to catch him before he hit the ground.  The older man was barely awake, and even through his own loud screams of denial, Eren knew he wasn’t going to make it.  Levi opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, and Eren realized absently that it was because he no longer had vocal chords.  The older man used the excess of blood spilling on his fingers to write it on the piece of fallen wall instead before laying still in Eren’s arms.

It was ironic, really, that the last words Levi had for Eren were the only ones he’d ever wanted the captain to say.  He clutched the bloodied rubble to his chest when Hanji ripped him away from the cold body hours later, accidentally smudging the word _brat_ that followed the three words he would never utter again.

 

**Jean**

Jean watched as all Eren’s friends slowly faded away from him.  It had been nearly a year since the last of the titans were destroyed, and slowly mankind was moving on.  Armin and Mikasa had already left, exploring the oceans and deserts in the world they had never seen before.  But he and Eren were still living in Trost among the destroyed buildings and crumbling streets that had long since been abandoned.

He knew the broken man was the only one who felt the same way he did.  While everyone went forward with their lives, they were both stuck in the past, clinging to memories that caused nothing but pain.  He didn’t regret ending Marco’s life when Levi failed to bring him down, but that didn’t mean he slept well at night.  Jean kept waking up to nightmares of the Ape Titan returning with half his face dripping blood and demanding Jean pay for his actions.

When the first country was created around the area that had once been contained by walls, the heavy tax became a burden for both Jean and Eren.  They set aside their old rivalry and moved into a small townhouse together, living off the military pension and status that had been granted to all those who had destroyed the titans. 

But that just made things worse.  Now, instead of waking to his own nightmares, Jean was startled awake from screams of _Levi_ coming from Eren’s room.

The first few times it happened, he’d run into the other man’s room, only to find him curled up on himself in the corner, clutching a handkerchief to his chest that Jean was sure hadn’t been washed since the day their former captain had died.  The taller man hadn’t known what to do to comfort Eren, but it was clear that approaching him was the wrong option.  After the fourth time of being awoken to the other’s screams, Jean dragged Eren into his bed and trapped him between his own arms.  He didn’t loosen his grasp on the other until the screams faded to quiet sobs, and then continued to hold him as his breathing slowed and Eren fell into a silent sleep.

They slept in the same bed every night after that.  Jean stopped waking up in a cold sweat to thoughts of Marco betraying him again, and Eren no longer screamed in the middle of the night.

Two years passed since mankind was freed, and the new government that ruled over the area they lived was in turmoil.  An uprising was forming in their neighborhood, and both men finally agreed it was time to leave the haunting memories behind.  Jean remembered overhearing Eren mention visiting the ocean once long ago and suggested it.  The shorter man’s face had darkened, as if recalling something much less pleasant, but he didn’t disagree.

They left the city just in time for a civil war to break out.  And then, even if they had wanted to turn around, it was too late.  Carriages had become a more common form of transportation, but they both wanted to walk.  Jean realized it was a bad idea by the end of day one.  Being outside, surrounded by trees and nature, seemed to bring back memories of the old Scouting Legion to Eren.  He collapsed on the ground before they were even out of sight of the old walls, shaking and vomiting.  Jean found a pair of horses that he supposed had been released after the war ended, and brought them to Eren.  He knew the other was still depressed by the lack of horse-face jokes directed at him, and the knowledge upset him somehow.

Jean knew Eren hated being worried over; it was one of the things that had finally pushed Mikasa away for good.  But even so, he kept an eye on the other.  Somewhere along the line, he’d become dependent on his former rival, and he wasn’t sure he could keep the nightmares at bay without the shorter brunet wrapped in his arms like a security blanket every night.

The sexual aspect of their relationship was inevitable, he supposed.  They had both lost someone dear to them, someone irreplaceable, and only had each other left.  It wasn’t born out of some kind of romantic interest as much as need.  Jean was more surprised it had taken them this long to get there.

It was clear the whole time that Eren was pretending he was Levi.  The smaller man had his eyes closed and his back to Jean as the taller man plunged into him, and Jean could hear the barely repressed whispers of _Levi, Levi, Levi_ as tears poured down Eren’s cheeks.  He had to close his own eyes before he broke down too, and when they finally finished, Jean could easily say it was the worst sex he’d ever had.  But that didn’t stop them from doing it again when they woke up the next morning and a third time before they fell asleep.  It took them twice as long to get to the ocean that it should have, and neither of them felt satisfied despite the numerous times they had reached completion.

They found a small, abandoned cottage far away from town.  Nobody ever disturbed them, and Jean only noticed the occasional double take when he went into town for supplies.  The people were beginning to forget what he and Eren had done for them, and he couldn’t say he minded.

Then one day, he ran into Armin.  He almost didn’t recognize the blond; he’d grown so much.  Jean thought the other was close to Eren’s height by this point, which was still shorter than him, though significantly taller than when they’d last seen each other.

It turned out that Armin and Mikasa had moved in together, and she was pregnant.  To say he was surprised would be a gross understatement; he’d always thought Armin had a thing for Annie.  Then he remembered the final battle and how the crystal she’d been trapped in shattered, taking her with it.  He was more careful about what he said after that.

Armin cautiously asked about Eren, and Jean thought for a moment that he somehow knew about them before remembering he’d promised Mikasa he’d watch over the other after they left.  He told the blond about how they lived together now and unintentionally invited him and Mikasa over for dinner a week later.

He’d thought Eren would be mad at him for extending the dinner invitation after the shorter man had tried so hard to keep himself away from human interaction for so long.  But Eren just shrugged and shaved the stubble that had accumulated on his chin before wandering out to the cliffs that over looked the sea and staring down into the water as he had taken to doing.

Dinner was awkward.  Mikasa had already swelled out quite a bit, and Jean couldn’t help feeling guilty that he’d made her travel all the way out here.  They could’ve easily gone to a restaurant, but making Eren sit and eat at their own table was hard enough.  He was taken off guard when Armin asked for a tour of the house and didn’t think fast enough when the blond asked where Eren’s room was.  He was saved from responding when the other man revealed they slept together.  Jean didn’t care if anyone knew; god knows they’d all seen how he’d reacted when he’d thought Marco died before they joined the Scouting Legion.  He’d thought Eren would’ve cared and was quietly relieved to find he was wrong.

Armin and Mikasa didn’t visit often, and not long after the dinner Jean received a letter in the mail that the baby had been born.  It was a healthy boy with jet black hair and caramel eyes.  The letter said that they’d named him Erwin for the commander who had mysteriously disappeared after the battle years earlier.  Jean had thought the reminder of what had happened would bother Eren, but to his surprise it had the opposite effect.  Eren pulled himself out of the slump he’d been in for over three years and visited the couple’s house every day, transforming into the perfect godfather to their child.

Jean finally got a fulltime job working on the docks.  He would’ve liked to go out on the water as a fisherman, but even though Eren was doing well, it made him nervous to leave the other man alone for too long.  He visited the Arlert-Ackerman household every week on nights that became known as “Family Dinners”, and one night when Eren was playing with little Erwin, Armin pulled Jean aside. 

They talked about how happy they were to see Eren finally acting human again, and Armin confessed that they were originally going to name their child after mankind’s savior, but thought it would be too hard on Eren to have his best friends’ kid named after his dead lover.  He felt a small sting at the revelation that Eren still had feelings for the captain who had died so long ago and hated himself for it.

He tried not to feel anything for Eren.  It had been easy when the brunet would wander off and not be seen again until he needed physical comfort, but now that the spark had returned to Eren’s green eyes, Jean found himself feeling things he’d sworn he would never let himself feel again.

“I love you.”  He hadn’t meant for the words to come out.  Eren hadn’t done anything to warrant a confession, except spill half the soup he was making on the floor.  Jean knew he’d have to clean it up later; Eren might have developed into a good cook, but he still refused to go anywhere near cleaning supplies.

The brunet didn’t say anything in response.  He just blinked his too-large eyes at Jean two, three times before returning to the stove.  Jean pretended his heart didn’t sink at the action and set about burying his emotions.

It was three days before Eren brought it up again.  “I don’t think I can love anymore.”  He said it calmly, staring down at the wooden hut he was building as a gift for Erwin’s second birthday.  “But I also can’t live without you.”  And then Eren looked up at him and Jean felt himself drown in a sea of green.

They were far from perfect.  Sometimes Jean would wake up in the middle of the night to find Eren leaning against the window, looking into the distance as if seeing something that wasn’t there.  Occasionally Jean found himself staring at Eren’s nose and thinking it would look so much better if it were paler and had freckles.  More often though, the two of them muddled around together, building a life that kept them far away from the dangerous thoughts they’d had the first few years.

Erwin turned three, then four, then life sped up and Jean lost count.  The times he caught Eren clinging to the now grey handkerchief decreased, and by the child’s seventh Christmas they decorated the cabin and exchanged gifts for the first time.  Jean spent less and less time thinking about Marco and stopped doing a double take every time he saw someone with freckles walk by until he finally forgot the shape of the other man’s face and the precise gate at which he’d walked.

It took years for them to both move fully on, but eventually Eren curled closer to Jean while they slept, and Jean stopped closing his eyes while they had sex.  And as years continued to pass and no titans appeared, Jean realized that it wasn’t exactly what he’d hoped for when he’d joined the military back when he was fifteen, but it wasn’t all that bad either.

 

**The End.**


End file.
